i can has poo! dylan walks!

news flash: dylan can now take steps with his lion push-toy. seen here, seven months!

if you've noticed that dylan's blog veers toward poo now and again, well you're spot on! so here's another story devoted to the topic. last night, we had dinner with dave, a friend of john's, at our favorite lebanese cafe in long beach, sunnin. john starts to tell dave the story of when, one morning, dylan poos all over john's shirt sleeves. i had asked john to take dylan to the toilet. dylan poos, john brings him back to bed, and john finishes getting dressed when he notices poo on the cuffs on his freshly laundered, ironed dress shirt. so then he starts to take off his shirt, and grabs another from the closet all while muttering, 'i'm late, i'm late, god dammit!' and i'm laughing, hee hee hee while snuggling with dylan in bed.

so then dave, who's got two kids of his own, says, well my good friend i've got a story for you! when his little boy ben was two, dave and his wife were in the checkout line at the supermarket. it was crowded, and there was a long line of people waiting. so the cashier's scanning each item, and they're trying to get all the groceries out of the cart, when all of a sudden, ben, dave's son, reaches into the back of his diaper, grabs a hunk of poo and slams it onto the scanner glass! talk about slam dunk.

and i'm not done, says dave. not to be outdone, his daughter also had a mishap. they're at a resort on vacation somewhere, and dave is in charge of babysitting his daughter, then five years old, in the pool. she's splashing about in the kiddie pool and there are a ton of other mothers and their kids and babies, all wading and playing, while cool man dave is at the bar, keeping an eye on his girl from afar and trying to get his pina coladas at the same time.

she starts screaming from across the pool to the bar area:

'DAD, POO'S COMING, POO'S COMING!'

everyone in the pool starts to panic, and clamor out of the pool. dave tells her, 'honey, hold on, i'm coming...' that he'll be right there, just wait! but no, she can't wait, as soon as dave gets his drinks and gets to his daughter, there is only his daughter in the pool, everyone else has exited.

she says, 'poo's here.'

moral to the story: dads, forgo the bar, when you've got a baby with a full load. and tell your baby that you're in the '10 items or less' line.